Rachael Ray, Dunkin' Donuts, and Ridiculous Republicans

Shield thine eyes! The following content may be unsuitable for children and quite frankly, the majority of adults.

Rachel Ray is at it again, my friends. In an obvious ploy to flood the American subconscious with sympathetic thoughts toward Muslim extremism, the perpetually smiling talk show host dawned a keffiyeh in her recent Dunkin' Donut spot. A fucking keffiyeh! I wish I were joking, but I'm afraid I'm in no mood for humor. Now, in fairness to Ms. Ray and Dunkin' Donuts, they call the black and white garment wrapped around her neck a "scarf." Nice try assholes, but thankfully, that weak shit is not fooling Michelle Malkin.

Michelle Malkin, FOX News commentator and one of the few to host The O'Reilly Factor when Papa Bear is absent, is the genesis of the controversy. She points out that the scarf-looking keffiyeh "has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad." She also notes it was "popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos."

Tip of the hat, my good lady. I've heard talk that she's too harsh and her criticisms are unfounded, and as a child, I would have agreed with that line of thinking. I remember my mom used to engulf me in bubble wrap every time I rode my bike. This, of course, drew complaints about the restriction of movement and resulting inability to steer. But she would just say that I didn't have to steer because my plastic cocoon (and guardian angel) wouldn't let me get hurt. Michelle Malkin is America's bubble wrap, knee pads, wrist guards, and helmet, suffocating the joy out of harmless activities. And for this, I salute her.

Some say that it's just a plain old scarf, that Americans have been wearing scarves for years and thus retain the right to wear them. I say to you this: I used to wear my clothes backwards. Then, in the early 90's, two child prodigies (Mack Daddy and Daddy Mack) started wearing their clothes backwards, most famously in the music video for their song "Jump." You may have heard "Jump" on Jock Jams or in NBA arenas during tip-off, but I digress. After Kris Kross laid claim to this style of dressing, I could no longer go about doing so without unintentionally displaying support for the duo. Well, I did support the duo and so carried on that "phase" until the age of 13. This Rachael Ray thing, however, is a whole 'nother story.

So do me and Michelle Malkin a favor- Next time you see someone wearing a scarf (Which will probably be winter, right? Maybe fall. Who unveils their scarf swag in the summer?), do what they used to do to me when I wore my Kris Kross clothing and spit on them. Harsh? Maybe. But necessary? Think about it.

Akon Is Not a Rapper

Neither is T-Pain. Neither is Usher. They sing, sometimes with computerized AutoTune software, and at varying levels of goodness, but they do sing.

Now I realize that, as black males who sometimes wear jewelry, the largely middle-aged white media can't possibly be expected to distinguish. And really, why should they? Personally, every time I see a black person I naturally assume they're one of four people depending on their age and height: Will Smith, Dwayne Wade, Bill Russell, or Morgan Freeman. So while it troubles me, I accept that when I hear about Akon molesting a 15 year-old fan on stage, "rapper" will precede his name and not "singer" or "R&B star."

Embracing the English (Part 1)

So within the last year, my awareness and resulting appreciation for British pop culture has really expanded.  And well, I thought it worthy of mention. It started with Ricky Gervais, trickled to Jonathan Ross, and most recently has grown to include Russell Brand. I'll start with Ricky Gervais.

I guess I've been aware of who Ricky Gervais was since 2005 when the American Office debuted on NBC.  It being a British import there was much discussion about how the subtle humor would hold the attention of us dumb Americans.  Anyway, it succeeded eventually, and the names "Ricky Gervais" and "Stephen Merchant" had at least a marginal increase in their Q rating here in the states.  At this point, I didn't bother to seek out the UK Office.

Flip to 2007.  HBO decides to broadcast another Gervais BBC show: "Extras." I didn't get into Extras until Season 2, which looking back I can pinpoint as the genesis of my not-at-all unhealthy obsession with Ricky Gervais.  So I watch Season 1 and Season 2 a few times and finally Extras came to an end with a 90 minute Christmas Special in December 2007.  This brings us to Exhibit A (great scene altogether but the speech starts at about the 1 minute mark):

After this finale, I found myself on YouTube one day looking for more Gervais material.  I found the podcasts aka internet radio shows. These podcasts introduced me to this lovely man:

His name is Karl Pilkington and he is a male human.  He is also fucking hysterical. He wears velcro shoes and is responsible for the quote "What were the things in Gremlins called?" He has an unquenchable infatuation with insects, jellyfish, and now that I think about it, most of the animal kingdom. He's a rare mind and I'd be doing you a disservice by trying to describe him to you so here's a taste courtesy of the Ricky Gervais Show podcasts:

Remarkable. Really, truly remarkable.  The podcasts are some of the funniest things I've seen or heard from any medium of entertainment. Onto The Office.

So I was a fan of the American Office and now a huge fan of the show's creators. Naturally it followed that I would seek out the UK version of the show. Fantastic. Short by American network television standards at only two seasons of six episodes each (plus two hour-long Christmas specials), the series is tight (as in no fillers) and rewarding. The Tim and Dawn relationship (UK's Jim and Pam) and how things wrapped up with David Brent (aka Michael Scott) were all very satisfying for the viewer. It is first and foremost a comedy though, so here's a gem from Season 1:

Links:

Ricky Gervais' site

The Pilkington Files